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Writer's picturePhil Tomeo

Dealing With Failure

Updated: Jul 7, 2020


As a society must of us have grown up with the mindset of failing is the worst thing to happen and we are afraid of the unknown that is associated with failure. Failure is a part of life and there are a couple ways you can deal with it: you can run from it or you can embrace it. In my opinion failure is one of the best learning tools.

For me personally, growing up I hated failing and I hated losing and I still do, but learning how to deal with failure has opened up a whole new world. I have failed in more ways than I can count and it took me a long time to figure out how these failures would be used as a learning tool. I have failed with business ideas, relationships, training methods, client interaction, loan applications, personal goals and the list goes on and on. As recently as a couple years ago, I had a failed attempt at a meet threw my belt and I let it ruin my whole day. I use to let the failure define who I was and it was mentally taxing, but with the help of my mentors I was able to change my mindset.

A good friend of mine who was going through a tough time once asked me how I do it and how can I take so many punches while staying calm? There is no wrong way to deal with it and learn from it, but for me it has been faith, experience, and knowing I gave it my all. Faith has gotten me through the worst of times and has given me more optimism for the future. For some people I completely understand that it is hard to believe because I was the same way, but knowing everything happens for a reason and that the grass is always greener on the other side keeps me going. Being able to experience failure so many times and knowing that I can recover from it has helped me build a stronger mentality towards my failures. And if I know I gave my all to something and I didn’t get the lift, or I didn’t get the client, there’s nothing more I can do. If I gave my 100% and I fail, to me that’s not failure because I know I worked as hard as I possibly could to reach that goal.

Looking back now it is easy to pick apart and learn from my past failures, but in the moment it was never easy. Keep your head up and keep grinding, learn from your failures and mistakes. Don’t let failure control you, find the good in every situation and grow from it. You can’t change the past, but you can control the present to build a stronger future.

Philip Tomeo

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